Your First Solo Valentine’s Day
Being single does not make you a failure.
If this is your first Valentine’s Day after your divorce I want you to repeat that until you believe it. Because I certainly believe it. And I believe in you.
Most of the men and women I work with have recently gotten out of decade-long marriages and relationships. This drastic change in lifestyle is what I like to call the “we to me”.
As adults, we know that life often doesn't go as planned. And we also know we can’t change the past. But we absolutely have control of two very important things: how we experience our current situation and how we decide to welcome the future. I encourage you to look at your next chapter as a time for growth.
So ask yourself, "What do I want the next chapter of my life to look like?"
My controversial matchmaker’s opinion is that Valentine's Day is the New Year's Eve of love. It's overrated and usually leaves you feeling unsatisfied — kinda like sex on a first date.
Ideally, in a happy and healthy relationship, you would be doing thoughtful things for the person in your life throughout the year (and vice-versa), not forced grandiose gestures for the sake of a holiday.
But here's the thing — you don't have a person in your life right now. And as much as you want to discount this "commercial holiday invented by Hallmark", it still hurts.
So let's work together NOW to figure out how you're going to spend this holiday.
I believe that experiences make the best memories. Here are a few of my suggestions:
If you’re not seeing anyone currently:
Go on a hike with friends.
Go to a karaoke bar with a friend.
Take your dog to the park (and be sure to casually scope out the cuties).
Try a new activity — check out some experiences on Groupon.
Pamper yourself with a spa day.
Have a brunch date w/ friends.
Set up a bonfire happy hour at your home.
If you've started seeing someone casually:
Have a charcuterie board delivered (bonus points if you channel your inner child and build a fort in your living room).
Take a haunted walking tour.
Take your new date Ice or Roller Skating.
Nostalgic date night movie - ask your date a week or so ahead of time what was their favorite 70s or 80s move!
Take a cooking class.
Rent an expensive sports car for a mini day trip somewhere new!
Make your specialty meal (if they’re comfortable coming to your place & vice versa).
What NOT to do:
Call or text your ex.
Sit at home by yourself thinking about how lonely you are.
Drink to avoid your feelings.
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